Growing up, I attended church, but I struggled to connect with God on a personal level. Being raised in two different denominations, I found it difficult to make sense of the gospel and where I fit in. This lack of clarity continued to be a recurring theme in my life as I attended church without any real guidance or connection to the faith. Struggling with anxiety and depression, I felt alone, unworthy, and vain, prioritizing my outward appearance to feel important. I didn't understand the power of prayer and found it challenging to make sense of the Bible. I didn't know who to turn to for guidance, and I was unsure of how to connect with God.
Fortunately, during my undergraduate studies, a friend invited me to a campus church event, and I immediately felt welcomed into the community. I began to attend church weekly, read the Bible, meditate on Scripture, learn how to pray and fill my life with Christ at the center. I finally found what I had been looking for: a purpose and a connection to God. However, even with all the progress I had made, I still felt uncertain about baptism and how to determine if I was "ready" for such a commitment.
My journey wasn't without setbacks. The same community that had helped me grow hurt me, and I felt alone again. I gave up on my relationship with Christ, thinking it wasn't meant to be. But I was wrong. God had never left me, and he led me to my husband, who helped me regain my confidence in Christ. My husband held me accountable and reminded me that our marriage needed God at the center. I learned that one bad moment didn't represent my relationship with Christ, and I was worthy and not alone.
My life has changed so much in recent years, and I have learned to trust in the Lord and have faith that my anxiety and depression will not win. I pray, and I know that God's grace is with me, and I am blessed to have his loving embrace. I am saved.